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December |  2007

Response-able Giving

I’m not at all sure this is going to work, so I’m asking you to be patient, to stay with me and to work at it. I only ask because I think what I have to say is worthwhile. It’s a good idea. It’s important. But it’s difficult to wrap your arms around. I only ask that you open wide and try.

            You see, it’s Advent again, and Pledge time, again, and those two seasons, in conjunction with one another have me thinking.

            It started with the “Black Friday” shopping rush. The slobbering hordes attacked our local merchants in a frenzy of buying. Some reports show lines as long as four hours (4 hours!) in popular stores like Target and ToysRUs. It amazes me how much time people are willing to trade for how little money.

            But that points to the process of our society, doesn’t it. We exchange time for money. We trade money for things. This whole big ball of wax rolls on the assumption that we spend in order to get. We give in order to receive.

            A big part of this is your basic capitalist, consumer culture. You have a cheeseburger. I have a dollar. I want a cheeseburger. You want a dollar. So we trade. Each of us giving something in order to receive something else or something more or something desirable.

            This is so basic to our way of living in the world we don’t even think about it, much less question its validity. We often go so far as to incorporate this free market principle into other areas of life, like relationships, or fun, or even God.

            Practically any popular magazine cover offers up some variation of the relational theme, “What have you done for me lately?” We live in relationship expecting others to meet our needs in some sort of proportion to what we give to them. You pay for lunch, expect them to pay for dinner. You bare your soul, expect them to bare their… well, you get the picture.

            I often find myself calculating a cost-to-fun ratio as related to entertainment. At the movies, for example, I find myself saying, “That wasn’t worth full price admission, but it would have been worth renting.” Or watching a preview, “That doesn’t look very good, I'll wait until it comes out on cable.” Snow skiing is another example. The work (added to the extravagant financial cost) required in snow skiing doesn’t come close to providing an equal amount of enjoyment. Of course, I’m a lousy skier, so you may disagree with me on that one.

            The real problem with this exchange-rate approach to life is when we import it into the Church, or worse, into our relationship with God. This is a problem because God does not play by the rules of a market economy. God doesn’t count the cost. God simply gives. God gives us life. God gives us creation. God gives us purpose. God even gives us His Son.

            His Son, of course, gave us his life. Jesus died for us, not for what he would get out of the deal (which is only pain, torture, suffering, rejection, abuse and apathy) but for what we would get out of it (which is only joy, peace, healing, freedom, abundance and eternity).

            This season, as you add up your receipts and weigh your pledge, don’t give as the world gives. Don’t give in order to receive. Give in order of response. Give because of what has already been given. Remember these words from the First Letter of John, “we love because he first loved us.” Let our loving, and our giving, be in response to God’s gracious generosity. Not reasonable giving, but responsive. Not responsible, but response-able. Giving enabled by a gift already received. Giving as a response to all that we have been given.    ~Father Jay

The Walk

            I had thought, at the outset of my recent walk to benefit Prevent Child Abuse Texas, that I would find at least a few answers along the 35-mile route.  What I ended up finding was hills.  And more hills.  The country in and around Austin is pretty darn hilly. 

But I had set out on this walk, this journey, with all of these questions about how child abuse can continue to exist, or how we can put an end to it…and instead of finding answers, I seemed just to accumulate more questions with every passing mile—and I’m not just talking about questions like “Who is the genius who invented Ben Gay?”. 

             As part of my participation in this event, I’d raised a significant amount of money—thanks to some generous donors; I signed the numerous release forms; I walked every step, every mile…  I prayed—and continue to pray—for the children who wake up every day in a world of fear and pain….  I talked with some of the greatest fighters of child abuse in our state, and I walked alongside people whose lives have been touched by abuse in the worst imaginable ways. 

But in the end, there weren’t any answers to my questions, and worse, a new question dogged me the whole way: 

Is this going to make a difference?

There was this nagging voice in my head.  This thing you’re doing is all well and good; it’s a great effort; it’s a heck of a challenge.  But… 

Will it make a difference.

How many times in this life does that question haunt us?  Consider this:  How many worthy causes do you involve yourself in every year?  How many dollars do you drop into offering plates, charity buckets, outstretched hands?  How many hours of your time do you spend on events, gatherings, galas, marathons, that are supposed to make some sort of miraculous difference in some reprehensible situation?  Feed the hungry, heal the sick, clean up the environment, restore what’s broken, make the world better…  You approach these goliath issues with hope and promise, only to be met by the resounding cynicism of doubt—and an overwhelming sense of defeat before the battle has even begun.  Why fight a good fight you can’t possibly win, anyway?  Why bother?

At the final pit stop before end of Walk to Action, after so many miles, I sat down next to a woman who was, in fact, the person who got me involved in this event in the first place.  I told her about these doubts that had been bothering me.  “What do you think?  Is this going to make a difference?” I don’t know if she could tell that I was really more than asking her.  I was begging her to assure me that our effort would not be in vain, that change would occur, and soon.

She only smiled—with what I would call an amazing level of serenity for such a moment—and said that we had been called by God to take this walk, so we did it.  That was our part.  Now we would turn our efforts over to God, move forward to the next thing and not worry about results that might only be visible in the fullness of time.  That was God’s part.

It wasn’t, perhaps, what I wanted to hear.  But it was, most definitely, what I needed to hear.  It was, quite possibly, what God most desired for me to hear.  Do your part.  Do the best you can.  Trust in God to take it from there.  

As we stood and prepared to take the final few blocks of our long walk, there was one thing that overwhelmed me…and amazingly enough,  it was stronger than the pain in my knees, more powerful than all of the questions combined.  It felt like peace, settling down over me like a blanket. 

The worries about whether or not all of my efforts are going to change the world anytime soon dropped to the ground like so much worthless baggage.  Because God knows better.  He’s in charge.  And contentment sometimes finally comes simply through hearing the call, answering it, letting go, and moving forward with gladness and singleness of heart.

But one thing is certain.  There is no longer any doubt that this endeavor of mine made a difference.  Because in its wake, I am different. 

And change begins here.

~Tracy Donegan, Editor

Something Great

The children of St. Andrew’s will be performing their annual Christmas Pageant on Sunday, December 16 at the 10:30am service.  “Something Great is going to Happen”, an original musical written by Seguin’s own Keith J. Robinson, is a musical that you definitely do not want to miss.  We have started practicing the songs during Sunday school and children’s chapel, and the kids are buzzing with excitement.  We will have a few practices for the elementary kids during junior choir, so all 1^st- 6^th graders who would like to participate are encouraged to attend.

Practice- grades 1-6 – during junior choir